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Charlie Harper’s Hottest Girls

The internet, the google, is demanding that I create a listicle about Charlie Harper’s (character on Two and a Half Men) hottest lady friends! So hot!! All the hotness!!!

lis-ti-cle (noun)
a generally short article presented in the form of a numbered or bullet pointed list... listicles are a media company favorite as they allow large quantities of articles to be pushed out with very little labor.

My initial thought… was along the lines of a scornful snort.

But after a little more thought, I think that my initial reaction is silly.

The reality is that somebody, somewhere, is going to make that list… and you and I both know it’ll be a stupid listicle turned into one of those accordion galleries where you have to view ten different pages (to increase their ad sales) instead of just putting it in one article.

My desire to make ‘better’ content really won’t change that.

So why not just try to make the listicle itself a little better? Less focused on the standard physical appearance and more on character traits that actually make people hot?? YEAH??? lol

Melissa – the cutie

Melissa was the petite kind cutie that only appeared in a couple of episodes as Charlie’s lady friend… she then later in the season became Alan’s lady friend.

I include Melissa because I think that the character’s attractiveness really comes from the actresses spunky acting and the characters obvious kindness… and who doesn’t find kind cuties attractive? Nobody, that’s who.

Rose – the lover

Rose loved Charlie unconditionally for years and years… and what’s better, what’s hotter, than unconditional love?

Berta – the person who makes a home… home

Berta worked hard to keep Charlie’s house running. She cleaned up his disgusting messes, she did the shopping, and even made him meals. Berta was the glue keeping Charlie’s home together.

Berta is what makes a home… home.

I don’t know about you… but I think that’s pretty damn hot.


I think it’s interesting that a somewhat low quality TV show with simplistic humor would have characters that express kindness, unconditional love, and a strong work ethic driven by caring about somebody.

If we’re being honest with ourselves… aren’t those traits more attractive than the arbitrary nature of things like a person’s hair color?

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