Image of Jeremy Wade with text 'River Monsters'

River Monsters: Mysteries of the Ocean – Predictions

So guys…

River Monsters: Mysteries of the Ocean premiers tomorrow (Thursday, April 7th) on Animal Planet. Now Animal Planet hasn’t given much away about what exactly we’re going to see in this new season of River Monsters… but naturally they breathlessly claim that it’s fantastic and we’ll see all kinds of things that are new to television.

So I found Animal Planet’s news release thing giving a very short description about some or possibly all of the episodes in the new season… and I decided I’d just make a prediction for each of the episodes about what we’ll see! Just for the heck of it you know…

Anyways

I don’t know the actual order in which any of these episodes premiere… so I’m just going to list them in the order of Animal Planet’s little news release.

 

Mysteries of the Ocean, Episode One, Deep Sea Demon

Jeremy ventures from the UK to Southeast Asia on a trail of clues in search of the mythological sea serpent. Throughout the incredibly difficult journey, Jeremy pushes himself to the absolute limit, but will his freshwater knowledge be enough to tackle this monster of the deep or will he end up in Davy Jones’s Locker?

Prediction: I really feel like the fish we’re going to see in this episode is the Oarfish. People now think that the Oarfish is actually the animal people saw when they claimed to have seen “sea serpents”. And if I’m remembering right, Southeast Asia and France are two areas where the rarely seen Oarfish has been seen recently. It’s gotta be a Oarfish… ITS GOTTA

Mysteries of the Ocean, Episode Two, Terror in Paradise

Jeremy travels to the Bahamas after hearing tales of swimmers being ripped from the surface of blue holes surrounding the paradise island. The locals attribute the tragic disappearances to the legendary Lusca monster and it’s up to Jeremy to unravel the myth of this horrifying hybrid monster fish by diving deep into its underwater lair.

Prediction: I’m not sure about this one honestly. It’s going to be a predator that hunts by looking up at the silhouette of its prey… and accidentally confusing human silhouettes as what it normally eats. Maybe a large eel? They have ‘lairs’ don’t they… I’d say a shark, but since when do sharks have lairs or qualify as ‘hybrid monster fish’.

Mysteries of the Ocean, Episode Three, Devil of the Deep

A chilling report of mutilated dead bodies ravaged by a mysterious ocean creature sends Jeremy on a dangerous mission from the Sea of Cortez in Mexico to Peru where he discovers a deep sea devil.

Prediction: This HAS to be a Humboldt squid. One of the Humboldt’s names is literally “red devil”… and they do travel pretty deep into the ocean and have a reputation for aggression… so “Devil of the Deep” seems appropriate, yeah?

 

Mysteries of the Ocean, Episode Four, Razorhead

Terrifying reports surface of a creature terrorizing one of the most popular vacation destinations on the East Coast – the Florida Keys. With witness accounts of a beast so violent that it slices through flesh and even breaks bones, Jeremy sets off to the Sunshine State to find out what is triggering these unusual attacks.

Prediction: I’m going to guess this is the episode seen in the “sneak peek” Animal Planet gave to some favored news outlets… it shows Jeremy fishing for striped marlin. Striped marlin are uber fast and powerful and if I remember right they’ve hurt plenty of sport fishers who were fishing for the.

 

Mysteries of the Ocean, Episode Five, Death Down Under

Jeremy travels to the scene of an ocean aircraft crash in Australia that left a group of Aboriginal elders brutally murdered almost without a trace. He embarks on one of his toughest investigations ever, taking on some of the deadliest animals on the planet in order to track down this elusive killer.

Prediction: I have no clue on this one. I bet we’ll see a bull shark or maybe a great white and it’ll then be dismissed as the killer. Maybe some big fat Australian catfish I’m unaware of.

 

 

Now apparently, that’s the end of the official Mysteries of the Ocean episodes… the rest are these River Monster “Specials”.

Specials

Into the Ocean: In this special episode, Jeremy charts the journey that has taken him from freshwater rivers into the heart of the big blue and revisits the extraordinary and deadly monsters he has encountered along the way.

Secrets at Sea: What does it take to produce an episode of RIVER MONSTERS? In this special episode, viewers will witness what goes on behind the scenes with Jeremy and the crew as the series is filmed around the world in the most exotic, and often hostile locations on the planet.

Invisible Killers: Jeremy has tracked down freshwater killers for 30 years, but now he’s discovered that he was sharing those waters with darker, deadlier creatures – parasites. Faced with the fact that he might be harboring his own undetected killer, Jeremy undergoes specialized tests at the world’s first school of tropical medicine and embarks on one of his most disturbing missions ever as he returns to the Amazon to hunt down the victims of horrific invisible predators that could very well be living inside him.

Blood River: Jeremy looks back at his fishing expeditions in the Congo River in Africa. From catching the fearsome Goliath Tigerfish to a catfish so powerful that it could possibly drag someone to their death, Jeremy revisits his journey to one of the most dangerous rivers on the planet.

Deadly Superstitions: Jeremy’s adventures have brought him an impressive haul of freshwater monsters, but his angling investigations have also immersed him in unique cultures around the globe. Jeremy looks back at some of the most memorable moments in his fishing career and asks if unseen forces could explain some of his greatest catches.

Killer Discoveries: The pressure is on as Jeremy joins scientific teams around the globe to help catch rare and dangerous specimens for vital research and new insight. Tagging freshwater monsters to map migrations, myth-busting age-old legends and even helping change environmental laws, Jeremy’s work has never been so important. In this special episode, Jeremy looks back at the scientific collaborations that have had the most impact on his career and reveals new data from the teams he’s worked with throughout the past seven seasons.

That’s it for now guys!

If you think I’m wrong about what the ‘monsters’ will be, feel free to enlighten us all in the comments!


Update 4/8/2016

I WAS RIGHT
I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT

It was an Oarfish!!!

Actually, it was two Oarfish! What kind of sucked was that they pulled a giant squid with us… do you remember a few years ago Discovery had a TWO HOUR long special on the giant squid and at the very very end they showed us a whole 5 minutes of the big beautiful thing. The end of the new River Monsters only showed us 3 minutes of the Oarfish I think… and that just bugs me.

You see, they want you to watch their shows all the way through the last commercial break so AT MOST they only have a single interval between commercials to show us these beautiful creatures. That’s 11 minutes max. They don’t bother though. Instead they give us a few minutes, collect their ad money, and can’t comprehend that we want MORE of these animals. We want to see them… and that’s all there is to it.

 

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