Image with text "Lets make the star trek worser" Facetiously quoting Paramount pictures, HP Enterprise, and JJ Abrams.

The New Blatant Commercialism of Star Trek Beyond

I guess Star Trek had to reach rock bottom at some point…

Now, as some of you may know, I despise the most recent Star Trek films.
I feel that they’re a perversion of the Star Trek that people came to love in the previous generations… I feel that Star Trek has firmly gone from being ‘space adventure‘ to merely bloody and base ‘space action‘ with some cute actors thrown in to sell the films harder.

But you know, why should Paramount and J.J. Abrams stop at destroying Star Trek with a genre change? Why not add blatant commercialism to the movie as well???

Hewlett-Packard Enterprise (HPE) gleefully announced on Monday that it has been working with Paramount over the last few months to “develop three conceptual technologies” for Star Trek Beyond, the latest in the new Star Trek movies.

In an HPE press release, the company writes: “Without giving any spoiler alerts [editor’s note: I think you simply mean “spoilers” here, HPE], we collaborated on three different technological concepts in the film: The quarantine, the diagnostic wrap, and the book. Each of these concepts showcase HPE’s vision for the future of technology, but are rooted in developments we hope to introduce much sooner.”

Read the whole article here:

Hewlett Packard Enterprise… yeah just because you have ‘Enterprise’ in your name does not mean you should make an appearance in the Star Trek universe.

The whole idea of a company inserting products it plans to create soon is entirely against the futurism of previous Star Treks.

Previously Star Trek looked ahead towards technology that might, in theory, be possible someday. It was a look towards what could be in a world where technology we currently think is unattainable or absurd becomes perfectly attainable (look at just how many times the replicator was featured in Star Trek episodes).

That futurism gave people hope, it gave people ideas, it inspired generations to go on and create the things that they dreamed of thanks to Star Trek.
Star Trek is meant to be the dreamer, not the maker of things.

Yet, HPE is going against that entire ideal… Inserting nearly finished commercial products that may seem futuristic is not good enough.
That is not dreaming.
That is selling.

And I find that offensive.

And honestly I hate the fact that Star Trek has gone from something I love to a giant pain in the ass thanks to all of this new nonsense.

“He’s up there now going around every 90 minutes looking down saying, ‘What have you done to my show?'”

– Majel Barrett, wife of Gene Rodenberry and Enterprise Computer Voice.


Update – 7/29/2016

Hewlett Packard Enterprise Co. gained the most intraday in two months after a report that private equity firms are contemplating a potential buyout.
KKR & Co., Apollo Global Management LLC and Carlyle Group LP are “sniffing around” the company, The Information reported, citing an unnamed person who has had talks with representatives of the private equity firms. A Hewlett Packard Enterprise spokeswoman declined to comment.


It’d be funny if somebody from KKR saw the new Star Trek film and said to himself “huh…..” and started scheming on how to buyout HP Enterprise. If that were true then at least you could say that HPE’s Star Trek commercials were effective…..

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